MUM GUILT

Mum Guilt, something that we can all say we share a commonality!

 

As mothers we cannot wait to bring life into the world and can visualise our children before we even meet them earth side However, when they arrive our world is turned upside down and we develop this mum guilt feeling.

 

Most mums will know exactly what we are saying here. Our child falls off the sofa on the floor when we move away for half a second or we are breastfeeding them and switch to formula for whatever reason it maybe but we feel pangs of mum guit in our chest and stomach, even though it’s what we have chosen to do. “What school do we send our children to”, what college or uni will our boy go to?” what if he doesn’t keep eating a healthy diet”, oh my days, is she looking a bit chubby”. The reasons we can feel this guilt are endless but, its something that never leaves you not matter the age. Mum guilt is a side of the journey through motherhood and beyond that hasn’t gone away even during the recent covid pandemic. 

 

Mothers all over the world are spending on average 15+ more hours on household duties including things like managing online learning, grocery shopping, cooking meals and keeping everyone afloat during these unprecedented time and we’re still feeling the guilt. 

 

This summer we’ll be adding to our already exploding workload as we figure out the “right” steps to navigate dealing with reopening our lives and living in a covid safe world. 

 

Que mum guilt overload

As if we didn’t have enough mum guilt, the pandemic challenged us again and again. Am I making the right decisions? So many working mums have had loads of time with their kids over the past couple of years with schools closed during the pandemic, the bush fires and the floods!

 

You’re trying to meet deadlines and stay on track to cope with the whole home schooling piece even though you couldn’t really figure out activities and deadlines were when the school was fully functioning! Hands up if you are one of these mums just like us! 

 

If you haven’t sent your children to school on fancy dress day or book day on the wrong day with them being the only ones dressed like a hedgehog, then you’re not a true mum ha ha!  Only Joking, for some mums they seem to have it all down pat, for anyone like us, we don’t even know what day it is half the time but as Friday rolls around again we crack the wine with a cheer having made it through another hellish week!!!

 

Working mum guilt doesn’t make you a better mum

 

Some of you work full-time for the needs of your family. With this comes a whole new level of guilt! Your child goes to Kindy, day care or pre-school and you feel you are not present as much as you should be, but…its ok. You have to work so, when you do have that all important time off, use that as special quality time. Trust us, they will love the short bursts of quality time!

 

Here’s the thing about the guilt you feel

 

It is always there like a little voice on your shoulder all the time whispering sweet nothings in your ear! To get stressed about feeling guilty does nothing for nobody. Feeling guilty as a mum is a natural response as it shows you are protective of your children no matter what age they are. 

 

As the summer approaches, try out some stress-less things with the children or grandchildren. 

 

During our new covid times things can get a bit harder as many places are closed but there are some small changes you can do to make life nicer and easier. 

your kids could try out something new in the safety of your home. Or they could learn a skill, project or find a hobby. 

 

Perhaps it’s time to let our kids have the kind of summer many of us had growing up, bike riding and swimming with friends. And it can all be done while keeping a bit of distance. We don’t have to have days out planned down to the very last second every day and this could be the perfect transition. Tech time scaled right back!

Your child can have fun around the home, with a football or swing ball, go to the local park on a skateboard or jump in the pool, and potentially learn new skills!

 

Permission to slow down

Let’s say you are having lots of fun but you’re not doing everything you want to do professionally or personally. If you aren’t getting as much done this summer either at home work or in your business, that’s OK too. Let that guilt go too.

 

Take a breath and enjoy the time with your family when you can, while you can. And make the most of it. 

 

Put in place different ways to harness opportunities you can’t take advantage of right now. That might help you be more comfortable with a seasonal slowdown. See how you can work on the next amazing project either at home of at work or even catch up with other mums on a zoom session with the little ones or relax and zoom when they go to bed. 

 

Change it up - How your day unfolds in covid or post covid times

 

Let’s get real though. Women don’t often want to hear “slow down” especially when they are on a mission to spring clean the entire house! 

 

Set your alarm to Wake up earlier. You maybe be able to get a bit of work done then. 

Work remotely although this brings a whole new level of stress ha ha! Doing Zoom calls with a child hanging off each boob when the call starts is a conversation stopper! Not helpful when you are presenting to the CEO of a huge organisation! However, it is normal, we are mums and life doesn’t stop for a CEO or a zoom call!!

Stay at home mums – this is for you

Have a lie in and start the day with a health kick or a mini workout. Maybe go for a walk with the kiddies, or sit out in the garden with a cuppa and soak up the fresh air. 

If you’re an early bird, get up before everyone else and have some ‘you time’ preparing for the day ahead. Or snuggle back on the sofa and binge on Netflix. 

Maybe plan a baking session and pre measure ingredients in bowls ready for the kiddies to get stuck in!

Create a treasure hunt around the house or outside. 

Start anew and delve into a new ritual, explore the chakras or learn a new subject.

Make some biscuits to ice or dive in to the arts and crafts box. Spoonville is the latest craze for little ones, decorating plastic spoons and making a little garden for them outside. We have had a go at this but in a classic mum organisation style, we had no spoons, only had sticks so we made stickville ☺ the creations are endless!

Mum guilt, is real, it stays with us forever, but…… The key is to just let it go, its ok.  

One thing us mothers have in common is the fact the majority of us live with the constant mum guilt about anything and everything!

Life can be horrendous one day and glorious the next with no in-between however, we often can’t change that so it’s best to put it behind and start the new day with a fresh perceptive. 

We will continue to miss photo day, send our kids to school or day-care dressed up like a Christmas tree a week behind everyone else and create packed lunches with everything chopped up so it’s not a choking hazard, even if our child is 15, but…its ok. We are just human and need to give ourselves a break! We got this Mumma’s xx